One thing that can definitely make a marriage difficult is when one person always feels like they are walking on eggshells around their life partner. Walking on eggshells is a feeling that is a repercussion felt by someone who is in a relationship with someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD). For the individual with this disorder, they have a mix of anger, confusion, pain, and the feeling of being misunderstood.
Marriages, when one person has BPD, can involve a lot of conflicts with high intensity. Fortunately, marriage counseling may help. Here's what you need to understand about borderline personality disorder so you can begin marriage counseling on the right foot:
Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder
When someone has this condition, they often have intense mood swings and extreme reactions. They are paranoid and have low self-esteem deep-down, yet still have illusions of their grandeur as they tend to attempt to portray themselves as the normal or reasonable one while blaming their spouse for being the problem. They often feel empty and bored, which typically results in risky behaviors, such as drug use, alcohol abuse, and sexual promiscuity.
Often, those with this condition are able to hide their symptoms very well from others, yet unleash the turmoil at home with their loved ones. Most importantly, they tend to have suicidal thoughts, with as many as 10% of people with borderline personality disorder committing suicide.
The Importance of Counseling & Treatment
Due to the suicidal thoughts that occur on a regular basis, it is crucial for you to tread lightly and continue walking on eggshells while getting marriage counseling. During marriage counseling sessions, you will learn how to effectively communicate with your spouse so your marriage can be more functional. However, due to the blame game that people with this mental health disorder have, it is crucial for your spouse to have a diagnosis of BPD and ensure the marriage counselor is fully aware of it.
Your spouse should receive individual counseling for their disorder, which can help foster a positive outcome for marriage counseling. It's also a good idea for you to have individual counseling to help you deal with the monumental task of being married to someone with borderline personality disorder.
A big problem you may face is getting your spouse to admit that there is a problem and the problem is large enough for counseling, both together and individually. Speak with your spouse in a non-confrontational and positive manner that you want to save the marriage and want the help of a marriage counselor.
Contact a counseling service like Cranberry & WEXFORD PSYCHOLOGIST for more information and assistance.